SCOTT SIMON, HOST:
Amy Allen is proudly a professional songwriter, and yet...
AMY ALLEN: I tell everyone to never date a songwriter. I don't know why anyone in their right mind would. It's terrifying. That is just risky, risky business.
SIMON: That's because so much music can be about love and relationship and all that sticky stuff - certainly true of the songs she's written and recorded now for herself. They are on her debut self-titled album. Amy Allen's called this track "To Love Me."
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "TO LOVE ME")
ALLEN: (Singing) Oh, that I was the one who taught him how to open his heart. And he learned how to hold you so good 'cause he laid in my arms. I'm not saying we need to be friends, but we shouldn't be enemies 'cause to love him is to love me.
Basically, my first boyfriend I dated for six years, and I wanted to write a letter to him as kind of, like, a thank-you letter for all of the memories that we made together and all the time we spent that really informed a huge part of who I am today. And then, as I started writing it, I was like, actually, it feels much more interesting and heart-wrenching to write it to his new wife, who - you know, I haven't really been able to be a part of his life because he's in this new beautiful relationship, and I fully understand that.
So the whole song is a letter to his wife now, which I thought was a really interesting concept, and I've never written anything like that. And basically, the concept is, like, to love him is to love me because I'm so much of these memories that are so formative for who he is today and vice versa with me because of him. And I think it's something so many people experience, but I'd never heard in a song, so I was really excited to dive into it. And I'm really proud of that one. I love it.
SIMON: Forgive me - none of my business - but do you know if the real-life object of what began as the letter and became the song has heard it?
ALLEN: I - actually, it's so funny. I was on the Tube - I'm in London right now - to get to this interview. My mom sent me a little clip of something that his father had sent about this, like, New York Times article. So I don't know if it's trickled down fully, and, like, the gears have fully clocked it, but his parents have heard it, so there's that.
SIMON: Well, that's just - I can't imagine they wouldn't share it. Let's put it that way.
ALLEN: Yeah, yeah. It's probably made its way around.
SIMON: You've written songs for Justin Bieber, Harry Styles, Selena Gomez - so many people. What made you decide to start doing it for yourself now?
ALLEN: So I've always written songs for myself. When I grew up in Maine in a really small town, my middle sister was playing in a rock band of all girls. She played drums, and they needed a bass player. And I started playing bass when I was, like, 9 years old to be in that rock band called No U-Turn. And then I started writing songs, and I just have never stopped. So I've always written for myself. But when I moved to New York after college, I fell in love with the songwriting session scene, and I really dove headfirst into it and have built a career off of that. But writing songs in my home by myself has always been the heart of music for me. So it's really nice now to put out my first album and dive into that.
SIMON: Let's hear a little of your song "Choices."
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CHOICES")
ALLEN: (Singing) Life goes by, and we make choices. Mine have always been annoying. Even on my best days, I miss you.
SIMON: I guess our lives are steered by choices, but do we always know we're making a choice when we make them?
ALLEN: I know. There's that one quote - I always forget what it is, but it's, like, by not making a choice, you are making a choice. And I think for me, the hardest part of growing up has been being the only person from my family that has moved far away from home to pursue this kind of, like, lofty dream of doing songwriting and being an artist. And that kind of, like, haunts me all the time, and I miss them so much.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CHOICES")
ALLEN: (Singing) Is Maine getting warmer? Are boats in the water?
I've tried to write a version of this song so many times, and for some reason, when I went into the studio this one day, it just kind of, like, fell out of me, and I'm really proud of it.
SIMON: Does that happen to you with songs? They sometimes just come out of you, seize you, announce they're there?
ALLEN: Yeah. It's so interesting. I read this Paul McCartney quote one time, which was, like, the best songs get written so quickly. I feel that for sure. A lot of the songs on my album that are my favorite happened, you know, probably within 30 minutes, and I didn't even realize I was writing an important song at all until after I finished it, and I was like, ah, this is one of my favorite things I've ever written.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "THE AMERICAN")
ALLEN: (Singing) Just the American you brought around that every now and then you talk about. It's breaking my heart that's all I am to you nowadays - just a phase, the American.
I went to school for music at Berklee in Boston, and I had - the first guy I ever dated that was in music was this British guy. And we had kind of a tumultuous relationship. And when it ended, I wrote this song called "The American," which was basically about being, like, how you can be so close to somebody and their whole world, and all of a sudden, I'm just this, like, American girl that was a phase in his life that he, like, rolls his eyes and laughs about once in a while, and how, like, you know, something so big can go - get narrowed down to something so small. And it's kind of a funny song, but it's odd. Like, I feel it with every relationship I've had. This song, like, kept coming back. It's the oldest song on the album, and I just kept feeling it really near and dear to my heart. So I was happy to get it on there.
SIMON: Forgive me. I seem to be asking this about all of your songs. Does the object of the song...
ALLEN: I have no idea (laughter), no idea. I haven't talked to him since - I don't know - college. So, yeah, he would know it's about him if he heard it, for sure (laughter).
SIMON: Oh, mercy. Well, there's a line in there. You said this country is a lie. You think you're free, but you're not.
ALLEN: Yeah (laughter).
SIMON: Must have been quite an argument.
ALLEN: Yeah. I think - it's weird. I've dated a few guys that are - honestly, this is a weird thing to say, but most of my boyfriends have not been American, for some reason. So I've gotten into the same argument with a few of my exes where it becomes this kind of, like, condescending thing to be American, and it has made me have this big come-to-Jesus moment about, like, what it means to be from where you're from.
SIMON: Yeah. You want to write more for yourself now?
ALLEN: Definitely. I think this album was so cathartic for me, and I think writing for other people is such a beautiful process. But it's something completely different to write something for myself and have that exist in the world. And the kind of mission statement of this whole album for me was to make something that when I'm a grandmother, I can play it and still feel like these songs are resonating, and I had complete control over what they sound like and what the lyrics were and what the melody was. And it's nice to have something so, like, intimately close to me that I don't necessarily, you know, have to incorporate other people's stories into as I'm going. So, yeah, I think it's lit a fire in me to definitely keep writing songs for myself.
SIMON: Amy Allen - her debut album, "Amy Allen." Thanks so much for speaking with us.
ALLEN: Thank you very much for having me.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "DARKSIDE")
ALLEN: (Singing) I would give my world to you. You see the beauty, and I see the truth. There's even a dark side on a full moon. And I've got a dark side, too. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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