Audacious with Chion Wolf: Transcript for 'Life advice, one Audacious guest at a time'
Audacious with Chion Wolf
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Chion Wolf 00:02
From Connecticut Public Radio in Hartford, this is Audacious. I'm Chion Wolf.
Paul Gladis 00:07
Always get the good toilet paper.
Chion Wolf 00:11
That was profound life advice from my brother Paul. Here's what happened.
Paul Gladis 00:16
So I was in your bathroom and I noticed that your toilet paper was crappy, like one ply, weak stuff you can see through. And I thought my beloved sister disgracing herself like this. I mean, she's a queen, she's worth at least two ply. Actually, no Chion, you're worth three ply, ultra soft, jumbo, super mega, quilted rolls of toilet paper, damn it. In the end, good toilet paper isn't just a luxury, it's a commitment to never settling. And I think that's pretty solid life advice, even if it came from a bathroom.
Chion Wolf 00:57
Now, ever since he spoke those six magical words, I've been getting myself the good stuff and reevaluating all the ways I can show myself that yes, I am worth it. So what's your favorite piece of advice? That's the question I've been asking guests at the end of every interview for the past two years, and today we're playing 71 of our favorites with the hopes that a few of them might inspire you the way my big brother's advice inspired me. Now, since Bruce Lee said, ‘If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done,’ let's get into it.
AJ Wolfe 01:35
You are the sky, everything else is just the weather, because everything in your life is going to change. Things can just tomorrow be gone. So you have to be cool with you and the way that you think about things and the way that you do things that have you have to be comfortable with that and also be able to let the stuff go if it needs to go. And, you know, figure out what you need to learn from the *bleep* that's on your plate at the moment, because that's going to go too and so learn from it while you can, you know, the difficult stuff you're going through. So that's why, because it's something that I struggle a lot with. So that's a helpful one for me.
Christine Hazel Decker 02:10
So I wrote a trilogy of poems that encompass the cycle of the day, from the sunset to the sunrise. Okay, so this would be the very first one in that trilogy. It goes: As the waves of the ocean and the sunset kiss, the day is now over. So what did we miss? Did we miss the chance to enjoy a dance? Did we miss the chance to steal a glance? Did we miss the chance to help another? Did we miss the chance to see our mother? Did we miss the chance to meet some friends? Did we miss the chance to make amends? Did we miss the chance to spread some love? Did we miss the chance to rise above of all the things we did today, the acts and thoughts and words we say, there's so much more we could have done while we were focused on the sun. Always look at the world around, see all of the light and hear all of the sound. Be all that you do and all that you say, and don't miss tomorrow all that you missed today. That would be my best piece of advice.
Cynthia Zhou 03:19
If I've already made a judgment on someone or something. I am not allowing myself the possibility of learning, and that extends to other people as well. Leaving space open for curiosity, for learning is really the way that I can allow my life to grow, leave space open for people to surprise you, for people to teach you something. And that way, my life does not stay like a little closed turtle shell like it used to be.
Chion Wolf 03:51
That was Cynthia Zoe, before her was Christine Hazel Decker, and AJ Wolfe kicked us off. Now let's roll out the red carpet and consider some advice from the world of showbiz. We've talked with many guests from across entertainment. They've been comedy writers, actors, movie directors, stuntmen, and their insights often relate to the work they do. But here's the thing, you don't need a Netflix special or your name to roll in the credits to connect with the wisdom they shared. Danielle Weisberg kicks us off.
Danielle Weisberg 04:21
Wait until you're in the car to cry. And that was specific to cast lists.
Chion Wolf 04:28
Like getting the job or not?
Danielle Weisberg 04:30
Yes, but I wouldn't say job because I was a child and we weren't paid. But when it comes to like Nutcracker casting, or like Theater High School casting, like you read what happens on the list. If anyone else is there, you say, good job. I'm excited for you. And then if you're not happy with it, you wait until you're in the car with the doors closed, and then you can be upset. And that's not to say, like, don't cry in public, or like, don't cry in front of people, but just not to be visibly disappointed when you get news that you don't want has been helpful for me, and I'm not always good at it. I'm very good at being really clear about how I feel, sometimes to my detriment, but I do think it's helpful if you're like especially in my field, which is entertainment and writing, to not just immediately start crying. If you don't get a job, you got to wait until you get home, or wait till you in the car. I'm in LA. I'm an LA girly. I've cried in the car more than I've cried anywhere else.
Chion Wolf 05:37
I mainly only cry in the car. I don't drive it.
Danielle Weisberg 05:39
Yeah, there is no mileage on my car. It's just for crying.
Chion Wolf 05:43
And here's some more advice from people who entertain us.
Jonathan Goodwin 05:46
When I was really little, I did magic tricks and stuff, and I found the address of a really famous British magician, like wrote him a letter, not that I had anything specifically to ask him, but I just had his address, and if I sent him a letter, he would hold something that I'd sent him and stuff. I was nine, I think, and he didn't write back to me. He called me, and I had like, an hour-long conversation with this guy, and there are a few things that he said to me that then those pieces of advice, they went in early enough that they actually stuck. You can do magic with anything, and if you want to be a really good magician, you need to know how everything works. Then he said to me, 'And if anybody ever asks you, can you do something? Say yes and then worry about it.' Saying yes to opportunity, take you around the world, and having as much knowledge as you can accrue will keep you safe when you get there.
Kitao Sakurai 06:57
It's always really helpful to take a step back and realize that if you're working on a movie, or if you're working on a show, like it's just a movie or it's just a show, it's like, it's not like you're not saving anybody's lives, it's just it's important to, like, always feel like you're having fun with it and to not take it too seriously. I think it's so easy to, like, get caught up in your work and just take things really seriously. But that's such a trap, because when you're trying to make something that's like, funny, you need to be approaching it with like, a level of ease and a level of like, unseriousness, even if it's like, in your mind, that's like, a really kind of high stakes thing, and it feels like, oh my god, there's, you know, millions of dollars riding on this, and my career and data, like, like, it's easy to kind of fall into that sort of like, cycle of stress, but it's not that serious, and it's not that important. And if you have that in your mind, then you can kind of say, like, 'Okay, well, let's just have fun with it.' And I think that that's sort of something that, like, well, like meditation does. If you meditate regularly, you know, you have less of a stress reaction to things that aren't truly dangerous, for example, like, you know, if you're in a situation of actual danger, like, yes, you should be like stressed, but if you're just doing a prank, or you're on set making comedy, you don't need to feel stressed, and it goes much better when you don't. So I think that's something that like definitely helps me through, you know, my work.
Chion Wolf 08:27
Well, as a public radio host, thanks for reminding me.
Mary Elizabeth Kelly 08:32
My dad used to always say to me, and still does say to me, 'Results lag effort.' Sometimes, especially in acting, it feels like you're punching a wall, like it feels like you're just working, working, working, putting in all this effort, and no doors are opening, nothing is happening. And then if you keep putting in this effort, couple months down the line, you really start seeing it kind of unfold, and the fruits of your labor really, like, start kind of blossoming and growing. And I think a lot of people quit before that time comes and they get sick of trying and, you know, not reaching where they want to be. And I think I always think about my dad when I'm like, 'Oh, this was so, like, I feel like I'm just working, working, working, and nothing's happening. I'm like, give it a sec. Take a breath. You know, results lag effort.' I'm putting in the effort now, and it'll come, and it always does. So trust, trust in yourself and trust that what you want will come, if you're putting in the time.
Stephanie Courtney (Flo from Progressive) 09:37
I would say, like, you are not in competition against anyone, even though, especially my business feels like you are, because you're all auditioning for this one thing, just kind of trust the opportunities you're getting. You know, because I never would have thought, first of all, I never booked enough commercials, so I never thought it would be commercials that I would make a living and stuff. But other people's success or whatever, is none of your business. None of your business, you know, and it's like now, what's in front of you. Pay attention to what's in front of you.
Chion Wolf 10:09
That voice you just heard was Stephanie Courtney. You might know her as Flo from Progressive. You also heard from comedian Mary Elizabeth Kelly, Director Kitao Sakurai, and stuntman Jonathan Goodwin. We did one episode featuring forever parents, which is a term used for people whose children have various degrees of intellectual or physical challenges that'll require a lifetime of care from the parents or guardians. Here's some advice from Marcelino and Catie Lim with their daughter Marissa, who has Down syndrome.
Marissa Lim 10:41
Be happy.
Cathy Carmode Lim 10:42
Yes, love people and be happy.
Marcelino Lim 10:43
That's her motto, just be happy. Mine was, 'All these things will give you experience.' You can cherish it or not cherish it, but it will give you experience.
Cathy Carmode Lim 10:55
For me, I think the most important thing is connections with other people. Like real connections, because connections with other people are what keep you going.
Chion Wolf 11:07
Before we go to break here are a few more good pieces of advice from William Harder, Lior Ofir, Martha Underwood, David Vance, Greg Viloria, Kristen Geez, and Jessica Jin.
William Harder 11:18
Don't do drugs, don't do drugs, don't do drugs, be kind to animals and don't do drugs. And stay in school. Call your mom. Just call her, because she's worried about you. And don't do drugs.
Lior Ofir 11:33
No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future. We all go through life. We're all young ones. We all do things that are stupid. We can't change, you know, the cards that were dealt. You gotta just run with the bulls, just like go. And I don't know, achieve what you want to achieve.
Martha Underwood 11:53
Experience beauty everywhere every day. So I take a lot of photographs parking lots, of grocery stores, or while I'm waiting for a train on the tracks, or something, sometimes even gum encrusted in cement makes a beautiful pattern. Look every day and you'll see it.
David Vance 12:15
Trust your gut with anything. If the gut intuition is saying no about something, just trust it right away. And if your gut feels like it's right, listen to it.
Greg Viloria 12:26
Be in the moment. I'm Japanese Buddhist. So I think a lot of our, a lot of our thinking, we always get worried or fear the future, sometimes, right and we think, we think 10 steps ahead when that event has never even happened yet, or about to happen, or going to happen. And I think if we could just keep our lives more in the moment, I think it would be very helpful for us in terms of stress and everything else. So that's what I think about.
Kristen Geez 12:54
Mastering moments of discomfort brings major future success. I think realizing that everything I deal with is absolutely temporary, while temporary could be a year. If I can master this moment, I'm more likely to succeed at whatever it is that I'm going to do in the future. This is not a life sentence. This is a moment. Mastering it brings me the future success. And if I'm the one that wants to be successful, then it's my job alone to master the moment.
Jessica Jin 13:21
This is like so cringe, startupy, but it's fail fast. The only way to find out what you're capable of is to run as fast as you can in one direction, and if a wall hits you, then you know you should change direction a little bit. You should pivot like a bumper car. If nothing hits you, then your potential is limitless. I want to find out the, what the shape of my bumper car rink looks like. You got to go fast, because there's so many edges to explore. There might not even be edges at all. You have to find out, and the only way we can do that is like pedal to the metal on your little bumper car.
Chion Wolf 13:58
When we get back, more sage advice from Audacious guests. Guest clip montage: 'Don't take yourself too seriously. Stop caring what people think about you. They don't pay your bills. Don't fry bacon naked.' I'm Chion Wolf. This is Audacious. Stay with me. This is Audacious. I'm Chion Wolf. Want a little behind the scenes of every episode of Audacious? Well, for years now, my guests on the other side of zoom would be just about to hang up when I would ask them some version of this: 'We're doing another show full of people's favorite piece of wisdom, like that one line that maybe just came up in your head, that thing your grandparents said, or you've got tattooed on your neck, or something, I don't know what. What's that wisdom, that life advice that you love so much, and why do you love it? Here's how artist Bianca L. McGraw and comedian Dean Edwards answered that question.
Bianca L. McGraw 14:59
Create space, especially when you feel like you don't have access to space, you don't have space. Reach out. Don't let things limit you, and creating space opens you up, because one thing is for certain, if you create space at your own table, you ain't got to worry about sitting at nobody else's.
Dean Edwards 15:16
Nana used to say, and my mother still says, 'It's good to have a friend and bad to need one.' If people love you, you can always ask people for assistance, but if you've burned every bridge and now you need help, now you can't get any help, you should have thought about that before you burned every bridge. People should understand that life is too short, and they should you know, the gift of life is to give and give without end. So I have no problem giving myself, not even with hopes that it comes back reciprocally, but that I know that I gave some good of myself. And you know, when I leave a room or leave a space people are like, 'Alright, a good guy,' you know.
Chion Wolf 15:59
Alright, now here's some of the more practical and sometimes quirky advice.
Adriana Piltz 16:05
Stop caring what people think about you. They don't pay your bills. Be yourself and take care of you and everything else comes along. Be authentic. Don't try to be somebody who you're not. Your life's gonna be miserable if you're gonna try to pretend who you're not.
Dani Rabaiotti 16:22
Don't take yourself too seriously. Just be a bit silly with things. You know, even if you've got a job that people perceive to be really serious, or you want to be, you know, really well respected. I think a little bit of humor goes a long way, and it's really, really important.
Danielle Perez 16:41
Never trust someone with bad eyebrows. Don't do it. How can you be trusted in any other arena?
Dr. Richard B. Gibson 16:49
My mind instantly jumps to the Buz Luhrmann song where he gives all those bits of advice about taking your time, breathing, dancing like no one's looking. The one that instantly jumps to mind, which is the first piece of advice he gives, and he gives it repeatedly through the song, is to wear sunscreen. And to me, that just seems so simple, so basic, yet so important and overlooked. And as a British man living in Texas at the moment, wearing sunscreen is incredibly important for me. So I would say, wear sunscreen.
Eve Wiley 17:25
You do you and don't fry bacon naked. There's that one too. Those are both great.
Jayson Greene 17:31
It is something someone said to me in my family. I remember the exact moment that he said it, and I remember the exact words he used, because it ended up influencing my life a lot. And it was my older brother. I was explaining to him patiently in my senior year of college because I was planning on moving to New York City and freelancing as a rock critic as my means of getting by. And he was trying to explain to me, 'Well, that is, sounds fun, but you probably make a couple of hundred bucks a month doing that.' And I was like, 'Well, I don't really care all that much about making money. That doesn't really matter to me.' And he said, 'Well, money can't buy happiness, but poverty will certainly bring misery.' It was the first time I'd been told something that kind of straightforward, and it hit me on the head in a good way. And I was like, 'Huh, good point. John.' And I went and I got a job.
Dr. Marc Feldman 18:19
The saying I like best came from a friend, and she said, 'Smile when you talk on the telephone, because even on the telephone, they can tell. They can tell that you're a receptive and open and caring person.'
Florence Early 18:32
Just ride the wave. Probably shouldn't share this, but I'm going to anyway. When I was around 18, I'm going to say, which is grown up in this country, I decided to at a festival. It's festival called WOMAD's, which was a place that my parents had been taking me since I was baby, and I've had a lot of first experiences there. And I decided to try acid, just because it was offered to me, and I thought, 'Let's go on then, since I'm at WOMAD.' And I was running in, I was at that point where you're kind of in another dimension, not able to function or focus on any of the realities that are in front of you. And that was, of course, the stage that I bumped into my parents. And I go, 'Dad, I've taken acid, and I don't know what to do now.' He goes, 'Florence, just ride the wave,' and he sent me out into this festival. It was such simple, but instead of a bollocking or disapproval or the shame that could have been projected onto me, especially by my parents, in that moment, you know, trying out drugs, it was really comforting. And I ended up going to that festival knowing I was going to be all right. And I've ended up coming back to that advice for myself every time I'm overwhelmed, or if something's too much, it's all going to be all right. Just ride it out.
Chion Wolf 20:11
That was Adriana Piltz, Dany Rabaiotti, Danielle Perez. Dr. Richard Gibson, Eve Wiley, Jayson Greene, Dr. Mark Feldman, and Florence Early. Dr. Gibson mentioned the Buz Luhrmann song about wearing sunscreen. And he's not a dermatologist, by the way, but that's one example of how we can be inspired by words or music. Here are some more.
Samirah Horton aka DJ Annie Red 20:33
A quote by Maya Angelou: 'People will forget what you said and people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.' And not in the feeling of like, Oh my gosh, I need to make sure everyone is feeling good around me.' But one of the things that we won't forget about ourselves is how we make ourselves feel. I think that that's the most important groundbreaking aspect about that quote. I remember reading this quote once of, what if you woke up with everything you thanked God for today, tomorrow? We can be so focused on what we don't have, to the point where we miss and look over the things that we do. The one who is grateful for little will certainly be grateful for a lot. Gratitude saved my life. You know, there was a time when all I could see was all the things that I didn't want, but I realized that I could decide to stay in the mode of only looking at what I didn't have, or I could start being grateful for what I did have. And my life really shifted when I began to thank my parents for the things that they did do when all of my mind was focused on all the things that they didn't. And my life really shifted when I began to realize, you know, I felt like I had all these generational curses that I had to heal because no one's healed them before me, and now it's all on me. But when my mind thought the thought of, 'But what generational curses DID they heal? What DID they do different than the generation before?' They were things that I could be grateful for, Like, 'Thank God I don't have to do that, because that was done, and my life would be completely different if it wasn't.' And so gratitude, it changed my life. More is on the way, and even in that sentence, more is on the way, there's gratitude in that sentence, because there's an awareness, a sense of awareness that there's something already there. That's why that sentence is so powerful. Because there's, there's understanding that something's already there and more of it is coming. And you don't have to do anything to deserve it or convince it, just allow it.
LaNia Roberts 23:14
Yeah.
Luis Mojica 23:16
Patti Smith: 'The storm that renders harm also makes fertile.' And the moment I heard that I was 16, I'm like, 'That's what I want to live by.'
Robbie Romu 23:26
It's a quote by Maya Angelou, who says, 'I did what I did then, because that's what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.' To me, that is about forgiveness and understanding that we do what we do, because that's what we're taught, that's what we know. But as we grow and we learn, we evolve and we change, we do better. So it's about forgiveness, for me, about forgiving yourselves for the things that you've done, and that line changed my life, really.
Anna Holland 24:04
This is also the title of one of my favorite songs, and it is also my favorite piece of advice, is, 'Live for today.' It reminds me to keep perspective. Tomorrow, next week, next month is all uncertain. We don't know what they're going to look like. So I'm just going to enjoy every single day, even if it's as simple as just buying myself flowers or making an especially nice coffee in the morning. I just make sure that I'm always living for today.
Chion Wolf 24:35
You just heard the voices of LaNia Roberts, Luis Mojica, Robbie Romu, and Anna Holland. One theme that kept coming up from our guests was managing what life throws at us and learning to let go.
Arianna Preuss 24:50
Just take one thing at a time. In this day and age, we are constantly trying to fit everything into our day and get everything done. And sometimes you just have to slow it down and take it piece by piece, and not let yourself get too in the craze and dizziness of everything, and just take it one day at a time.
Carrie Carriello 25:14
The moment where you stand will not last forever. Will this matter in five minutes, five days or five years?
Dawn Shaw 25:22
Here's one of my favorite sayings, and it has to do with horses. 'Sometimes you have to let go to get back.' A lot of people, they want to hold those reins, who might want to, they're afraid of the horse moving forward too quickly, and so they ratchet up the reins, and the horse gets all uptight, because you're pulling on its mouth, and it's coming up and it's agitated, and you are afraid that if you actually let go of the reins, the horse is going to speed up and take off. The reality is, the horse wants to have its head so that it can relax, and if you just kind of let those reins out a little bit, then the horse is going to drop its head, and it's going to be less agitated, and it's going to relax. So sometimes you have to let go to get it back.
Katie Charter 26:10
If you're worrying about it beforehand, you're suffering twice. So for me, I'm like, you know it's going to happen. It's going to happen. Try not to put too much thought into it, because, you know, you can suffer later down the line if it's going to happen. As an overthinker, I'm always thinking about what's going to go wrong. I'm always thinking, 'Oh, what's going to happen?' But I'm trying to steer away from that and think, 'Well, if that's going to happen, you know, I might as well have fun today and suffer tomorrow.'
Natasha Fischer 26:34
Okay, so there's a Mel Robbins podcast that I listen to, and she's like, there's this one piece of advice for people that are, like, kind of anxious, and, you know, you worry a lot. And I liked it so much. I went on Canva, and I made the phrase and I put it on my phone background, like, so cheesy, but, 'What if it all works out?' What if it all works out? Throughout every single day I look at that now probably 100 times, because it's my phone background, but it keeps you thinking in a positive, positive way versus worrying.
Rozy 27:08
Sometimes I can't control things, but I can control how I react.
Zarna Garg 27:14
No one is more blind than the person who doesn't want to see. Have you ever had a discussion with somebody where you're like, 'This person's making no sense.' He has decided he doesn't want to understand you. So no matter what you come at with all your logic and statistics and all of it, it's irrelevant. And I say this to my kids sometimes, 'Save your energy. When you see somebody like that, they've decided not to participate in whatever it is that you're trying to do. Just accept that that's where they are in life and move on. Preserve yourself.'
Chion Wolf 27:48
That reminds me of the Mark Twain quote, 'Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.'
Zarna Garg 27:54
True.
Chion Wolf 27:59
That was comedian Zarna Garg, before her was Rozy, Natasha Fisher, Katie Charter, Dawn Shaw, Carrie Cariello, and Arianna Preuss. Alright, you want to hear from some real experts on living life, people who don't need PhDs or decades meditating on mountaintops to reveal deep philosophical truths about life? Time to hear from some kids. We're starting off with my nieces and nephew in Spain, and then passing the mic to some other young, wise guests we've had on the show.
Arwen Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 28:31
Paparruchas, paparruchas, al rio como las truchas! It would mean, like, the silly things, whatever they're they're not, they're not gonna happen.
Chion Wolf 28:43
Like the things you worry about.
Arwen Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 28:44
Yeah.
Chion Wolf 28:45
Is there one thing that you worry about more than anything else in the world?
Arwen Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 28:48
Death. I got scared that my parents die, my friends die, my cats die, and my aunt dies, and grandparents and uncles too.
Chion Wolf 29:01
Do you use that saying to try to get yourself out of it?
Arwen Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 29:05
Yes, like my mom normally tells it to me. I tell her, 'I'm scared something happens.' And shesays, 'Paparruchas, paparruchas, al rio como las truchas!' They don't matter right now. If they were happening. Well, yeah, okay, but no lion's gonna go inside of your room.
Chion Wolf 29:21
It's not happening right now.
Arwen Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 29:23
Exactly.
Aiden Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 29:24
Be nice makes your soul grow bigger.
Chion Wolf 29:26
Being nice makes your soul grow bigger?
Aiden Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 29:29
Yeah.
Chion Wolf 29:30
What would you say to someone who is feeling sad?
Aiden Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 29:35
Focus on the good things of life.
Chion Wolf 29:37
What are some of the good things that come to mind?
Aiden Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 29:40
Like you have a family, you have a house, you have friends, you have love, you have a world.
Chion Wolf 29:51
A whole world! What's your favorite piece of wisdom or life advice?
Willow Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 29:58
When I'm sad with, and I'm crying, and when Daddy gives me hug, when I feel more better.
Chion Wolf 30:08
When you feel sad, and your daddy hugs you, how does that feel?
Willow Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 30:13
I'm more calm, and I don't feel so bad.
Chion Wolf 30:20
On a scale of one to 10. How good of a hugger is your daddy? 10 is the best hugger in the world, and one is not a very good hugger.
Willow Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 30:32
10.
Chion Wolf 30:32
10. How about your mom?
Willow Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 30:34
10.
Chion Wolf 30:36
How about me?
Willow Gladis Perez-Sauquillo 30:40
10.
Cash Daniels 30:41
You're never too young or too old to make a difference, and kids may be a small part of the population, but we are 100% of the future.
Gus Mcafoos 30:48
I would say, keep with what you're going. Don't let other people, like control how you feel and how, no matter how old you are, you can still have your own opinion and how it doesn't matter if you're little or old. Don't let other people have your opinion for you.
Samirah Horton aka DJ Annie Red 31:05
Practice how you play. When I first started out DJ, I didn't start to DJ for the Brooklyn Nets until four years into DJ, and that's it was all because of, like, a chain reaction. So even if it's like my parents always told me, like, even in each event with two people, put on your best effort. Like, it's a stadium at the Brooklyn Nets with 18,000 people, because you never know who's watching, especially in the entertainment business, like, that's the way things go around, you know, like, this person saw me, and then they brought me to this, and then they bought me to this. And that's how everything works here. So to be honest, just practice how you play.
Chion Wolf 31:38
You heard the adorable Spanish voices of Arwen, Aiden, and Willow Gladis Perez-Sauquillo, Cash Daniels, Gus Mcafoos, and Samirah Horton, aka DJ Annie Red. After the break, the advice just keeps on coming. Guest montage: 'No one is you, and that is your power. Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. / Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.' I'm Chion Wolf. You'll hear from some of our Connecticut Public staff and my favorite piece of advice too. This is Audacious. Stay tuned. This is Audacious. I'm Chion Wolf. Some people don't like unsolicited advice. You know what you're doing, right? You don't need any help. I get it. But sometimes a single profound observation from out of nowhere can clarify something you didn't even know you were hazy about. Without fail, for the past two years, I've asked every single guest I've interviewed what their favorite piece of advice is, and today, we've woven together some of our favorites in the hopes that you'll hear exactly the thing you need to hear right now. Time for a lightning round.
Caryn Toriaga 33:02
Do something today that your future self would be really happy about.
Chris Massimine 33:07
Live life, because nobody else is going to do it for you.
Dr. Mary Ann Cooper 33:10
Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment. Don't get caught out in a thunderstorm.
Guy First 33:18
Take your time. Take it, hold it, take it, yeah.
Yaruh First 33:22
And keep it real. Everything will just be okay if you keep it real.
Julie Millsap 33:29
If you're expecting people to feel sorry for you, you're not going to get it and you're not going to get anywhere.
Megan Peabody 33:35
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Mehdi Hasan 33:38
It'll all be fine in the end. No matter how bad it is now, in 10 years, 20 years, none of it matters.
Azie Dungey 33:43
When a task is first begun, never leave it till it's done. Be the labor, great or small. Do it well or not at all.
Colin Nissan 33:51
Don't be sad because it's over. Be happy because it happened.
Paul Marcarelli 33:56
Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.
Stacy Samuels aka Banjo Man 34:01
As Bob Dylan said that we grow up to be righteous, grow up to be strong, be courageous and brave in whatever you can do.
Tabitha Farrar 34:09
I run a horse farm, and once, when I was younger, an old, rusty jockey, and he was talking about horses, but he said, 'Nothing good is easy.' And that is something that I just remind myself when I'm like, 'This is really hard.' I just want to say nothing good is easy, and that's okay.
Chion Wolf 34:30
That was Caryn Toriaga, Chris Massimine, Dr. Mary Ann Cooper, Guy and Yaruh First. Julie Millsap, Megan Peabody, Mehdi Hasan, Azie Dungey, Colin Nissan, Paul Marcarelli, Stacey Samuels, aka Banjo Man and Tabitha Farrar. Some life advice takes on even more meaning when you know the backstory of the person giving it. Neil Harbisson was born colorblind, and he joined us for a show about being a cyborg. He has an antenna implanted into the base of his skull that translates color into sound.
Neil Harbisson 35:04
There is a sentence by Zappa. I think it's, 'Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.' When I heard it, I felt because this is a bit of a deviation from the norm, but I think it can allow us to adapt, or to reveal reality, to feel nature. So in a way, it can allow us to progress.
Chion Wolf 35:30
Jada Star was on the reality show "Claim to Fame," where she revealed that her aunt is the one and only Dolly Parton. Jada shared this advice she got from Dolly.
Jada Star 35:41
She said, "Keep your damn room clean. You're on television.' She said, 'Also,' she said, 'Just keep your own counsel.' And then I acted like I knew what that meant. And then I went home and I looked it up. And basically she just meant, keep some stuff to yourself. Think about things before you say them, which I didn't do on "Claim to Fame" at all, but I did keep my room clean.
Chion Wolf 36:21
When you picture a clinically diagnosed psychopath, so the opposite of Dolly Parton, you might not imagine that you'd be able to relate to some of their perspectives on the world. But here's some wisdom from psychopath Athena Walker.
Athena Walker 36:36
If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things you observe with care: To whom you speak, of whom you speak, and how and when and where. I think a lot of people would get a lot of value out of that.
Chion Wolf 36:48
All right. Now, imagine you won a $28 million Powerball jackpot when you were just 21 years old. That's what happened to Timothy Schultz, 25 years ago.
Timothy Schultz 36:49
No one is you, and that is your power. And I really, truly believe this, and what that means to me is that we are all unique, and we all have our own life story. No one is you, and I think we are all capable of incredible things
Chion Wolf 37:19
Next, Tony Cicoria. After being struck by lightning, he had a near-death experience, which led him to become a piano virtuoso. Here's what he had to say.
Tony Cicoria 37:30
Listen to yourself. Listen to that inner voice. It knows where you're supposed to be and what you're supposed to be doing, even though you don't. It's also not something that you can ignore, because if you do, you might get hit with a two-by-four or a strike of lightning, whatever it takes to get you to wake up and realize who you are and what you're here for.
Chion Wolf 38:08
Kenley Byrd also had something really unusual happen to him. Raised in Mississippi, he always had a thick Southern drawl, but after a stroke, he suddenly sounded British. The condition is called foreign accent syndrome, and he had it for 13 years. But just before we aired his episode, his southern accent re-emerged. Here's Kenley's favorite piece of advice.
Kenley Byrd 38:32
The things that happen to us. It's not what defines us. What defines us is the way we rise up and respond to them. That's what defines us in the end. Do we let it overpower us, or do we let it take us and go forward? That's kind of what I decided to do
Chion Wolf 38:51
Next, three-time USA memory champion John Graham shares some insights that I didn't expect. A heads up, John's advice about forgiveness evolved from his coming to terms with his grandfather's death by suicide.
John Graham 39:05
One night, after weeks of suffering in this anger, I put my head on my pillow, and I said, 'Grandpa, I don't agree with what you did. I don't think I ever will, but I love you.' And I meant it with every fiber of my being, and in that moment, an elephant of rage flew off my shoulders, like it was gone. It was, I looked around, I said, 'What the hell just happened?' And I actually tried to provoke myself again. I looked back at every single memory from the last month that triggered me. And I couldn't get angry, it was gone. I couldn't get angry at him. It was gone. And so when we do this forgiveness, we are really releasing something energetic from our body, from our being for good. We're processing stuff that we've held inside of ourselves. And I literally did it that night, and that moment changed my life, because from that day forward, I've been like a junkie on forgiveness, and it's changed my life. I don't have anxiety anymore, I don't have panic attacks anymore. I don't have overwhelm. All of these things that debilitated me mentally, emotionally, are gone because I faced all of the things from the past through forgiveness and then released it, made peace with it.
Chion Wolf 40:26
Jenn Carson was nine years old when she learned that her father, Michael Bear Carson, was a serial killer. We spent an entire episode exploring her journey from traumatized child to mental health advocate. Here's some wisdom from Jenn.
Jenn Carson 40:42
When people say, 'What advice can you give as someone who has survived, you know, decades of suicidality and experiences with homicide,' my greatest piece of advice is to seek help because help works, and seek hope because hope can be restored
Chion Wolf 41:03
When you know that you only have a few months to live, what's the most important insight you want to share? We were so lucky to get to know David Myers in the final months of his life, as he was dying of glioblastoma. He died on July 2, 2023 and among many powerful moments, he left us with this.
Dr. David Meyers 41:26
Learn to ask for help when you need it. Learn to accept graciously, and remember to say thank you. Be generous when other people ask you for help, assume that people are good and they intend to be good, and, most importantly, be kind. Having cancer has taught me all of these lessons, especially the first one. But it was a challenge for somebody like me who thought I had my life all planned out, to learn that I'm vulnerable and to ask for help and to be gracious in accepting people's offers of help, remembering that even when I'm not fully like I was, that I still have something to offer, so that I can return some of those favors though I know I will never make it. It's not an exchange like that. To learn to say I love you, and to be kind. Can I give you one other funny one?
Chion Wolf 42:25
You can give me a funny one.
Dr. David Meyers 42:28
Maybe it's not that funny. People sometimes read books on how to talk to people with cancer, and there are a lot of good advice in them. Sometimes I fear that people read those books and then become more fearful of talking with people with cancer because they get worried they're not doing it right, as if there's a right way and a wrong way. Just reaching out in whatever way you do is better than not reaching out. The people with cancer, and especially people with terminal cancer, or at least me, are worried about being abandoned because of that idea that our culture doesn't like death, and the people may pull away, or they blow it at such out of proportion that they think they have to have all the words of wisdom. When somebody says something awkward to me, like the friend who's asked what am I planning to do in retirement, I hear them say, 'No matter what it is, I love you and I care about you.' You can't say the wrong thing.
Chion Wolf 43:42
As we move to our final set of clips, we echo David's sentiments about how precious life is and how important it is to be there for each other in the ways that we can, and that includes showing love to ourselves.
Blyss 43:56
Learn to love you unconditionally, learning to love you involves forgiveness, acceptance, growth. In my world, love is an action word. So when you love yourself, you do for yourself, you protect yourself, you care for yourself. It's not just about, you know, 'Oh, I'm going to the spa,' or whatever. It can encompass, you know, changing your diet. It could encompass sitting out in the sun for a little while. It can encompass, you know, taking some online classes. You want to really have better for yourself. You learn to see your light, you learn to compliment yourself. You learn to allow other people to compliment you and care for you, and you let people around you who care for you, enjoy, and you enjoy. So definitely learn to love yourself.
Bruce W Brackett 45:08
Don't compare yourself to anyone. You will become bitter. Compare yourself to yourself, and you will become better. Do your best. Do no harm and do for others.
Moon Ribas 45:19
Trust yourself. It can really have a strong influence. No, sometimes the opinions of others, and it's just opinions of others, so don't put them in a pedestal. I think you have to trust yourself.
Paperboy Love Prince 45:32
Everyone loves you. Sometimes people will walk into a room and they'll feel like, 'Oh, everybody is judging me, or nobody likes me or I don't belong here.' The saying is, 'Everyone loves you.' Like have that in your head, instead of, 'Oh my gosh, are people judging me or people looking at me?' Have in your head: Everyone loves you. With that energy and power, you can really be yourself and take over a room, and then you'll start to see it on people's faces, you know. You'll start to see, 'Oh, wow, this person loves me. They really like me.' And like you'll just be thinking that. You're not thinking, 'Oh, people are judging me and hating on me,' and all of this stuff. So it's a good reminder for myself, too.
Chion Wolf 46:14
That was very good advice from Paperboy Love Prince, Moon Ribas, Bruce W Brackett and Blyss. An enormous thanks to all of our guests on this episode and to the ones we couldn't fit in. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. Now, when I say this episode was lovingly produced by Jessica Severin de Martinez, I mean it in every way. She took almost 100 clips and made them flow so beautifully for you. So Jessica, what's your favorite piece of advice?
Jessica Severin de Martinez 46:47
‘A ship in a harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.’ That's a quote by John A Shedd.
Chion Wolf 46:55
We also had massive production help from Meg Fitzgerald.
Meg Fitzgerald 46:59
My favorite life advice comes from Peter Crone, and he says, 'What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way… because it didn't.'
Robyn Doyon-Aitken 47:08
Leap and the net will appear. And I really, really believe that.
Chion Wolf 47:08
And Robyn Doyon-Aitken. And Meg Dalton.
Meg Dalton 47:11
One must live a curious life.
Chion Wolf 47:14
Speaking of curious, that is our tagline here at Connecticut Public, Media for the curious. That is at the heart of everything we do. So here's some advice from two of our fearless leaders, Chief Content Officer, Vanessa de la Torre,
Vanessa de la Torre 47:36
What are you doing now to make things better for your future self?
Chion Wolf 47:41
And here's our president and CEO, Mark Contreras.
Mark Contreras 47:44
Treat people the way you want to be treated. And a Bible passage from Matthew 25:40: 'Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.'
Chion Wolf 47:58
And one of my favorite pieces of advice, listen, I have made plenty of errors and judgment in my life, of all sizes, but I've noticed that it's the little choices we make that add up to a lot. So when I'm faced with even the smallest decision, like whether or not to let someone else go first in traffic, or whether or not to gossip or do I really need to pick up that piece of litter? I remember how you do anything is how you do everything, and suddenly I know exactly what I need to do. We would love to hear your favorite piece of advice. audacious@ctpublic.org is our email, or you can get in touch with me on the socials at Chion Wolf. All the guests you heard today can be found at ctpublic.org/audacious, and of course, you can subscribe and rate this show on your favorite podcast app. Thanks for listening.