Scarlett Lewis's 6-year-old son Jesse was murdered in the Sandy Hook School Massacre in 2012 alongside 19 of his first-grade classmates and six educators.
From her grief, Lewis started the Choose Love Movement to create safer communities through nurturing, skill building-social emotional learning programs.
The inspiration came from a message Jesse had written on the family kitchen chalkboard before he died that read, “Norturting Helinn Love” or Nurturing, Healing, Love.
Those words became the catalyst of the movement and call to action with the idea Lewis shared, “that if the shooter [at Sandy Hook] had more nurturing in his life, the tragedy might never have happened.”
Lewis hopes to inspire parents and educators to take action to change communities where we live.
Her latest hope is that the social, emotional learning skills and nurturing techniques her movement provides, can also reach parents after reading a recent report from the U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, which declared parental stress a public health issue.
“I took my part of the responsibility for what happened to my son in his school,” Lewis said. This is my community. I am partially responsible for what goes on. I'm not saying it's my fault. I'm saying I take responsibility because this is my world. And if I want it to be better, I have to do something about it.”
The advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General states that there are approximately 63 million parents living with children under the age of 18 in the U.S. and there are millions more who are non-parental caregivers.
According to the report, 33% of parents said they experienced high levels of stress in the past month compared to 20% of other adults.
And 48% of parents say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming. That's compared to 26% among other adults, according to the Department of Health and Human Services’ 2023 data.
The report points to many reasons for that stress, including financial strain and economic instability, technology and social media, cultural pressures and children’s futures.
Murthy said he released the advisory because it has the power to put policy and programs in motion to support American parents.
Scarlett Lewis hopes her program can help.
“When parents don't have the capabilities to manage the stress in their life, they are not promoting a safe home," Lewis warns. “I mean, a child is not psychologically safe, I'm not saying physical safety, but parents are supposed to be role modeling for kids, how to manage difficulty and, and having the courage to face it and move through it.”
The Choose Love Movement offers a curriculum for parents, children and teens.
“We synthesized what was already out there and all the research and we upgrade it every single year,” Lewis said. “We give these kids and educators and parents the best of the best of what we already know, to put everyone on a pathway to flourishing.”
Lewis hopes that her program will help teach children and their parents to thoughtfully respond with love.
“It's the response that has you in control and in your full personal power,” Lewis said, “as the best version of yourself."
